Public schools exist to educate, not to raise children. That line used to be clear. But across the country, it’s being crossed. More schools are making personal decisions for students without telling their parents. They are socially transitioning kids behind closed doors, calling it support. It is not. It is overreach.

Keeping Secrets from Parents Isn’t Protection

In several school districts, policies encourage teachers and counselors to refer to students by new names and pronouns without informing families. Some go further, allowing students to use different bathrooms and locker rooms based on their chosen identity, again without telling the people who are legally and morally responsible for them.

This isn’t a small adjustment. It’s a major intervention in a child’s life. And it’s being done behind parents’ backs.

Real Cases, Real Harm

In California, a mother found out her middle school daughter had been socially transitioned by school staff without her knowledge. Her daughter was struggling with anxiety. Instead of helping her cope or involving the family, the school pushed her toward a new identity and kept it secret. The student later reversed course, but the damage was already done.

These aren’t one-off incidents. They are part of a growing trend. Schools are adopting the belief that they must step in where parents “fail” to affirm. This flips the entire parent-school relationship on its head.

This Is Ideology, Not Education

Schools should not be pushing any belief system, but that is exactly what this is. The idea that gender is fluid and that children must be affirmed immediately has become a political movement. It has no place dictating school policy. Teachers are not trained therapists. They are not qualified to guide kids through serious psychological or emotional transitions. But some are taking it upon themselves anyway, driven by ideology rather than evidence.

It’s not just about what teachers are doing. It’s also about what happens to those who disagree. Educators who speak up and say parents should be involved are being disciplined or fired. This is not compassion. It’s control.

Parents Are Not the Enemy

Too many school administrators now treat parents like a problem. That mindset is dangerous. Parents have a right to know what’s happening with their children. They are not barriers to progress. They are partners in education. And if schools forget that, they stop being institutions of learning and become institutions of activism.

Imagine if a school hid a medical condition from a parent. There would be outrage. But somehow, hiding a gender transition is treated as responsible. That double standard tells you everything.

Students Deserve Respect, Not Secrecy

Every student should feel safe in school. That includes students who are questioning their identity. But safety does not mean hiding things from families. It does not mean cutting out the people who love and care for the child most. Respect and secrecy are not the same thing.

We can support students without sidelining parents. We can create respectful classrooms without enforcing belief systems. What we cannot do is let schools decide when to involve families and when to keep them out. That is not their role.

Bring Schools Back to Their Job

The job of schools is to teach. Reading. Writing. Math. Science. Not to guide children through deeply personal life changes without the knowledge or consent of their parents. Not to take sides in political debates. Not to replace the role of the family.

This is not about hate. It is not about denying anyone’s identity. It is about drawing a clear line. Schools do not raise children. Parents do. And any institution that forgets that does not deserve the trust of the public.

The future of education depends on restoring that trust. And that starts with telling the truth, involving families, and getting back to the basics.